Time flies

Yet another year passed and a very special day of my life is back. I don't know how to say it special in bitter way; its now end of 2nd year without my mother...how to say it special in good way as well as it is start of 8th year on my blog...no comparability between two either. Well, the day started with walking around in the Leiden city to find some flowers for my mother. It is Sunday morning and except churches nothing is open today. Well, I wanted to get something anyhow n reached till church..a man stopped me, asking do you believe in God.I said 'no and I am busy now'. Some people still try here to find someone who can come in church for Sunday prayer, otherwise they are nothing different than monuments. Anyway, I walked but can't see a shop still while mind was busy cooking this question. My mother was great believer of God and I was great agnostic. There is lot of unanswered questions for life which leaves you with God, but beyond these Q&A, its hard to be believer. He or she is creator and everything goes by his (her) wish only, as temples, churches, mosque and more over our mother told us. I think even if there is someone who did it all, he (she) lost his (her) remote control after switching ON the whole system. Also, as across the religion people believe in preaching, it seems God must be someone who was Sarkari babu in past and got the position by deputation. So he can't do anything by his own vision unless, is requested politely n bribed (chadhawa) to the worst. I don't want to be funny, I am serious! If there is God, how he(she) can tolerate so much of malfunction in the system and does nothing except to add some more in it from time to time.

Whatever! I can't find an answer to it anyway..so lets hope that the next time when I will be sitting for this occasion I will have a better reason to believe in God and celebrate the existence.