Hard to be good too!

I really have a great time in last few months in HBTI and with a feeling of getting out of a hell! and getting back into community of good thinkers or should say thinkers like me. but still being here when i try to be a good person all the time i find that people have a very awkward response on my act of me what make me myself! an entity other probaly other than them. My vision of keeping thinking and action always straight and uncoiled is all time a matter of discussion between my friends sayings "this all will hurt you only some day"and "it all is n't too late be like us". I don't know how long i can go with my vision but can say only too all "I can't ask me to not to be myself, you do yours job and let me do mine and the whole world is not going for a selfish act."

Reason for happiness

Happiness is something which is the ultimate goal of our all actions. Everyone has his own reasons and meaning of happiness. Some get it by achieving goal in race of life while some have no significant reason for it and it’s just a natural outcome for them. But do happiness needs a reason all the time?

Not Alone!

Many times people around me make me feel like that I am very different from others but don’t know it leads to a very weird kind a feeling in me, a feeling to be very alone in this world! Some say, I am very complex, some say I take things too easy and straight forward, others question, why so critical at many instances????...it’s too much confusing and mind boggling to think it all and often very much ironic at same time. I got a call today, a friend telling such kind of things, told to him by someone today which has surprised me for all about once again. Any how now when I am on net, reading and commenting to blog of others I find that atleast I am not a lone thinker of my kind and probably I am between peoples with other kind of life shade and who aren’t able to understand me. Thus a feeling of not alone is atleast good and sufficient for me and definitely a confidence building.

Speaking Eyes

Its long after when again I remind about an incidence of my Hyderabad tour in Jan’06. It was time when we myself and Kankana were traveling in a local train from Ramgundam to Kazipet in our way to Hyderabad. It was really a beggar–full route and as usual as soon we started out our journey few of them went through us. Soon one ammaji was before us with miserable face saying something in Telugu  I was Hindi-speaker and the other the Bengali one were not able to understand what she was speaking about but as we all know Action speaks louder than voice and non of us were deaf enough to misunderstand, I tried to neglect her as it was getting too many now. But this time Kankana started prompting me saying, you should see in her eyes!. so she made us to give her too something too for her eye reading. It was not something yet to discuss about but soon after when after taking a round in coach not even 10mins later she was back before us with same desire. I smiled but controlled my emotion to say anything, and as she can’t understand us non us tried to tell her that we have already given her the money…any how she went to next after sometime. But it was not her last appearance and was before us in next few minutes.. this time my feelings busted out to ask Kankana Can you read her eyes yet? and now u should tell her through your language of eyes that we have already given her whatever we could by now. This incidence gave us all the concept of language of eyes and a question too…Do eyes really speak?

Sound of Silence!

It is really awkward to say something on this topic but thinking deeply it means a lot and why not if hours could be spent making big sensible speech on “zero” by Swami Vivekananda. We all have a surrounding of silence and also a core of silence of inner self, but beyond that we have a great deal for it when we need to relax ourselves.
Apart from this, silence has its own virtues which sometime make people even more complex than the extrovert gregarious persons in the world and whom I say having “Sound of Silence!”. One can hardly define himself but many times I have been told to that same person by people around me. Any how its there view and I enjoy it.
Khamosi ka haasil bhi, ek lambi si khamosi hai /
Unki baat suni bhi hamne, apni baat sunai bhi //

Self Control or Self Denial

There are several things in this world that are having very small margin between them, out of which few are illusion of eyes while some are illusion of mind, some are notoriously know to all while some are little known. Like people often talk of love and infatuation, worldliness and materialism. The great things about we Indians is that if you give a chance to speak upon such topics a person who is definitely unaware of what to talk about will talk most and will show his most confidence over his view.
But let us come to the point out of one such issue that isn’t it common that on the name of self control most of time the time we are prohibitedly indulge in the practice of self-denial. We are all time careful about having the self control and can’t be said that it’s a vague habit because that is really something which we often come to learn about when we come across the thing several time in life and there is chance of excess. As also told by Kabir Das ji:
Ati ka bhala na bolana, ati ki bhali na choop/
Ati ka bhala na barasana, ati ki bhali na dhoop//
Also there are chances that we don’t have the chances to learn upon as there is no chance to retake. But even after that because of such possibilities we can’t let all the time having so called control over self to deny our desire at some very critical occasion. There is a truth that, one gets life once! and we can’t loose the chance to get his part of happiness in his style all the time. We all are living in the age when everyone has a great pressure of performance and that is the cause of success too but on the other hand we are having it all on the cost of some great sacrifice of our regular happiness and thus we all need a boost to our poignant mind. So definitely the new generation motto is, Work hard, Party harder!

Gaining the ground

As far as gaining knowledge is concern my B.Tech. studies were just like grazing in barren land. All the time when I was in and after the completion of my degree I was struggling because of lack of knowledge and often proved unaware of things without which now I come to know that no one should dare to tell that he or she is a engineering graduate. But now when I have a little time and great motivation by the new scene I am trying to get back to my ground, and trying to get to the knowledge which I should have gained years back. In the new world when all where is a cut-throat competition we can’t expect ourselves to be gaining success at our stake unless we have a great potential of knowledge and self-confidence boosted because of it.

3-D World ?

The concept of 4th dimension by Einstein and currently by Hawkins is not as old as the 3-D world and has lot much uncertainty but even 3-D world is not properly solved. The nonlinearity of real systems and the complexities of the natural approximations are although better defined now but very often when we have to go through the real model of the system we find that the mathematics which we have developed through hard work and genius effort of many known and lot many anonymous pathfinders is still not sufficient and sometime if saying truly “blunt and futile”.May be me not the fully capable body to make such a comment but most of the time when I see into different biological system in biochemical, metabolic and various engineering processes and I need to define or to make mathematical model of it most often I find that it is highly imperfect and mostly because of unavailability of a suitably correlating mathematical template for it. Although much help has been done by the tools like MATLAB and the new generation fuzzy and genetic algorithm in defining a system to a better degree of approximation in new mathematics but still lot more work is needed to be done.

Money for Motivation

Sucess has its own taste, and the most universal one. but every sucess has a sweated labour and the most importantly the motivation bihind it but the most wasted question lies in the depth of the sucess that, what is the source of this motivation for a adult? Its a inner consience or someting else. This thought come into mind while reading a interview of Jhon Abraham wh was saying that money has nothing to do with his motivation. He may be true or may not be. But is it possible for a world where years ago was written that "Dhanad-dharmam-tatah-sukam" in sankrit litratrature to say that money is nothing to matter about.I feel its pretty hard to image of it and some time a arrogant statement. Infact Happy in new world has its one way through money...there are few things which money can't buy......

Sorry to Me

Life is like sand watch.
Walk, Walk n Walk!
Expectations a lot from myself,
And just can't do it all for me
So, its sorry to me!