Chemistry of love

In my work life and because of my shift in-charge responsibility I have noticed a very awesome chemistry of love in men which appears pre and post-marriage. All the unmarried lovers grade of employee demand for more and more number of C-shift may be so that they have more time in day to go with there girlfriend, simply saying more time for love. On the otherside, the same person from that group as soon as gets married starts disliking C-shift and avoids as much as possible…a big shift in attitude because of just one event of life…don’t know what to say..amazing-awesome-stupefying-vexing! Probably all the same, don’t know what deeper chemistry which depends on day light!....some photochemical reaction

The Drop Of Oil

There are some questions which always remain unanswered; n some we don’t want to… but thinking of all around sometime I think of my vision and mission of life n endless expectations for which effort is nowhere…whenever try to be desperate for some goal so many doubt come in mind, whether is really needed or I am going to bring upheavals in life because of influence of others…The Alchemist’s story of eye over the drop of oil still peep in my mind but the truth is that now I feel that I don’t know, what is that drop!!! keeping eye over drop while journey of life is far away.

Sound of Self, Silence of Self!

Time never waits for anyone, n I am not the exception too... have lived my one year of life in vacuum which got created a year back when i left my college...I don't know i didn't enjoy my job or my past didn't left me alone to do so but at this time the only thing I find is sure that today when on the day when its completed its year round, nothing much has changed for me...same desires, same commitments... and so as the apprehensions! some time feel why time is so cruel, but the God with whom I always have the tight-fight gave me a good time for little atleast...friend whom I always find to be with me...all in myself!

Chase for Dream

While going to my office when I see the juggees beside the road and people living there, I just think of the life-its ambitions-destinations-sufferings all for some hope- some dream... What are the differences in the one which these people bear, one which I bear and the one which people above me!?! Finding that in this race to chase our dreams how we all become so small that we loose our own identity, just remains a position-a responsibility with a name of no value without it! but life is nothing without it even....some get success to achieve it some loose the ground and spoil themselves and acquaintances...still in search of meaning for life as ever.

A-Day…B-Day…C-Day…D-day….

After a 16 hour long shift; that too very hectic at job, and some shopping on the way back returned exhausted to flat and slept unconsciously for whole night to get up fresh at morning 5 on my B-day. Day started with my call to my fellow who was in night shift to get update of fermentation batch for which we were facing some problem n got some bad news…started swing in the ambiguity of thought of whether to go to office or stay back to pay my commitment for the day…anyways I called all concern people for the permission of necessary steps to be taken and went to my colleague’s place to tell him the way to do all to troubleshoot the situation…all went fine and things got done to let me return in back in B-day mode. Went for Cinema with friends and thereafter for food; both just like formality but took lot of time…retuned at 11 and called my friend to get a bad news again…as have taken soporiferous drug to induce sleep because of life tensions…disgusting! What hell I am doing in this world can’t even help my friend. Got a promise that,‘ll not be taking anymore in future! Not sufficient for me…still asleep at 3 after listening!!! Birthday already gone…

Life Examination

Going though ups and downs of life. Had my appraisal review with my boss somedays back, don't know why I went there for...returned completly dejected and with low moral after that. Was talking everything except our contribution to the jobs and when things not even settled there he clarified that since you people of fermentation are at very bottom of the process its its very hard to indentify your role in sucess. I was called for a 15 min. talk which went upto 1.5 hours sucking all my time which was really to be given to process since I had to do three media fills that day. In such sitution when you are expected to deliver most was like someone has blenched you and sent back! annoyed! tried to make myself more in the job helplessly....

Practical in Life..

People feel I am very much practical in life n I too try to pretend like that only, but is it really true...Life has its own narration, which I never understand just in my attempt to look practical I hurt my own people and finally myself...but on the same time when required to be adamant looking, I break so badly that I myself fail to control myself...Uselessly trying to show what I am not!

Knowledge is hindrance to learning…

Got a time to express myself here after long time today. Learning is very important in life and so as past knowledge, but now a day realizing the fatigue for learning in myself…not so active, not so curious as before when I was in my college or to start my job. Broken pieces of my knowledge are putting impedance with an unfounded realization that, I should not worry, as I already know it. Have a serious apprehension that will loose my ground very soon, if will remain same. Time has already taken away my inspiring friends, and now if I fail to contain myself, don’t know where I will be…lets see! Atleast hope is there! n realization too…

Become Like Me?

Had a talk after long time and for long time today with Konkana, which left me back again in my own puzzle when suddenly she said, "Ashish, I have become like you". I was all surprised and set inside after listening; started thinking of, but which Ashish! when I myself is no more like me. Time has really changed a lot...knowledge and more over personal approach. She meant to say about my knowledge but I went inside me, my approach to life after call. What a great change has occur! Although I was never a atheist but pretty agnostic, used to question everything and debate for even those things which even I were knowing is nonsense. Even now I don't put God's picture/mark in my room, just a Ganesha's small idol being more of friend than God! to whom I more complain than demand! always command never pray! but still I believe in him! I believe in my friend, as any other!Anyway the change is still there, I have a new love now! I have started loving Lord Krishna's Karma Yoga concept. Although I am not having great understanding over that but still what ever so far I have learnt out of it is wonderful! Its first time when my sceptical mind has nothing to question! just want to follow! Each and every word of Bhagwad Geeta looks to be coming from my own heart! Its a change in me but first time I am happy to accept it! happy to accept myself!

Crunch for News

Looking back in 90's I remember of days when although I had little interest in news but had good interest in the view of competitive preparedness of my elder brothers to catch the newspaper first as soon as the delivery-person used to throw it in my house. The only thingh which used to catch my interest was the front page cartoon. Now when so many news-sources are there from newspaper-channels to internet, interest in news have gone even lesser, which never comes unless something very special is there. Gone like as my favourate cartoon corner which has also disappeared from front pages of these newspapers.

Just Another Batch

Life in general is measured in days, months and years, some go philosophical saying "measure it in terms of happiness not in sadness". whatever, but for me working here in Dr. Reddy's entire concepts of time-day-month-years-happiness-sadness has dematerialized; busy days and tiresome nights are measuring life in terms of "production-batches". Time is flying with no other achievement beside job and find myself surrounded with existing and coming batches challenges. busy in new batch readiness again after one batch harvest today....

Way which is toughest and easiest too!!!

In life we all come across challenges when we don't know what to do, where to go, what is right and what is wrong! we stay apprehensive about unknown causes...and always feel uncomfortable about choosing the right and finally go into deeper mess day by day by our own choice. But I feel there is no alternative to truth; although its very tough to say or follow it sometime, even toughest but the confidence of being true, following correct path has no alternative. The pleasure of doing the right, the craving behind it is beyond comparison and makes the life easiest, beyond any apprehension of consequences.

about:blank

In life milestones come and achieved, desires wake and accomplished, success is sensed but is this all about life. Everything revolving around I-me-my. Thinking of what I have done for others, for the common man; something selfless, something spontaneous....find myself clueless. Life is like running on a fast track without a sense of what exactly I am heading for...personal goal... organisational goal...no goal. Find a big blank when I have answer the question from inner self.

Tiresome

Things got settled with friends and nearby, but don't know why feeling very down now a day. Want to leave it all and get back to my place. While studies I used to think of job for a money to fulfill my dreams...now when job is there, money is there, neither time is there nor the dream...looks like walking in great darkness. Both body and mind gone so tried and more over hopeless that just want to rest them all...I don't know how much horse like I was but certainly turning into donkey with continuous-monotonous overload.

Even though its valentine's day it has got no reason for me to write, but...I got a very special reason to write. I got a my first post-job call from a Singaporean company today. When i had given the telephonic interview, it went very smooth but as advertised it was a job offer for person having 6+years of exp., and I can't believe I have converted the call...Anyway

Sorry, Not Possible Anymore

Despite of all my efforts to not to put my problems before others and instead putting efforts to make other feel more confortable talking me and getting relaxed saying there own problem, I am back were i started. My friend complaining I am changed, I am not able to look in the problem as efficiently as before and worse that after talking me they are still more disserted! something which I heard in my UG days and I left that selfish person....It looks the time has come again. Sorry that I can't carry on my spirit anymore.

Disco Rickshaw

Auto-rickshaws are part of urbanization of new India; auto-rickshaw with tempered meters, or even without that, or not ready to go with meters even if meter is there; but that is all common and nothing new to talk about and what i find is something very special about auto-rickshaws in Hyderabad is the music system. Music systems of good quality is nothing new in family and luxury four-wheelers, but auto rickshaws in Hyderabad have a big music system with two-big speakers in rear part supported by very fast-n-wild Telgu music taste of their drivers. The default sound of these systems is so high that you feel to be in a disco and music is banging your head and thus, even if the rickshaw is going slow the music make you feel everything is very fast. I don't know its there love for music or mode of creating illusion for the person seated but it comes like a unwarranted demand before you and ends only with your short journey. Its your choice, you are going to Enjoy or Adjust!

Dosti Ke Naam Par

Relations are changing day by day and there orientation too; some are getting closer while some are going still away. friendship is one such relation which we come across all along our life, everyday and to prove its worth everyone does something or other when it is close and also when it is no more close, even when it means nothing for them anymore; all for Dosti ke naam par.
Looking into my acquaintances what people do for me on Dosti ke naam par....
-some still call me once or twice in a month or two.
-some try to prove that they miss me.
-some feel that some part of there monthly recharge is to be discharged by calling me to prove friendship.
-some don't forget to talk to me in chat if they find me.
-some pretend that they were all in thought of calling me only, as i called.
-some scrap on some occasions and keep forwarding there junk in my mailbox.
-some send sms funny jokes to share the moment.
-some keep waiting till I call and start talking like they themselves have called me and had well ready with idea what all to talk about and what all to ask for in the short call.
-some don't forget to remind me about what all are my responsibility since I have been friendly to...
Whatever, but everyone has something or other for the name of friendship to serve

Where's The Party Tonight

Yes, it was new year party for us...went with some sweet, some shocking memories of time. It was more like a cultural festival where stage dance kind of activities were there, somewhere like a award winning ceremony where u had prizes for every possible action and a bad food or mostly no food to remind the Dr. Reddy's culture. But for me it was even more memorable not just because I danced almost few hours on dance floor but also the final situation of the whole party; My roommates where fully drunk...one was drunk to such extent that he was beyond his sense and lying on ground. I was saying thanks to myself that I don't drink but also that now I will have to carry this 80 kg body of my own which was already fully tried after whole day work in office and thereafter party. Anyhow carried him to my home place and felt relaxed.

My Money Plant

In a time when Life is tiresome for everyone running behind money, one sweet memory of innocence I used to bear in childhood revitalize me. I was not a son of some Dhirubhai or Enistein having innovative idea, the innovative idea of making money which fascinates every age (I hope will facinate me in future too, which i don't know), but I had my own way. I don't know it was genuinely my own but its was surely well nourished and fueled by my elder brother who was the sole benifiter of my vigilant dream. In my childhood when ever my mother used to give me paisa (usually while going to office, n i used to stay at home) my brother used to come with the idea of Money Plant. It was nothing great but in absence of everyone we unite to sow that paisa to get that so called money plant which will make me millionaire one day! only to pluck paisa like we used to pluck other flowers everyday from the same garden. I regularly and with full belief kept sowing plant when ever I got a chance without any care that my last attempt had failed n kept on going until this worldly lure made me change the mode of expenses; expenses on toffees-chocolates-icecreams and lot many. But this question always remained unanswered that where those paisa where going which i used to plant and got answer one day when my brother reveled the story in his background. He used to take out paisa in my absence and place a plant on the same location without root to call me n show. My pleasure nad dream used to acheive the peak but, a plant without root will have what fate? It used to dry after sometime, leaving a message for me; Well! sometime next...will surely get success one day.
Great memories of childhood...lot many! countless!!!