The hope and the faith

It was late night at Belgium Bar with friends in Delft, just like any other nightout there. We were all high after couple of drinks when a guy came to table and offered a game in chess. My friends who were already looking for a reason for the next drinks pushed me saying, come'on you are an Indian, we know you guys play chess, you have to play! I don't understand who invented this bad idea of chess in pub, but whatever, the game started with one guy on alcohol and other on cola...yes, the clever fellow was himself sipping cola! but somehow beer lubricated my mind or the other guy was insanely tipsy on cola itself that I had to guide him and tell that take care you will loose your key players on board. It continued till he got benefits of constantly raising alcohol level because of my drink and instantly collected mine like a child! well I opened my eyes first time in game to play and gave a mate after a little trouble. The cola man got up from his seat saying, Man you spoiled my night, nobody defeated me here before..how you did? I sincerely doubt his claim but other side effect of alcohol appeared and I spoke my heart. I said, Man, you know what is hope and what is faith? you had a lot of hope on others to loose but no faith on self that you will win! I had only that and I won it despite of loosing all my majors in game...just have it you will not loose next time.
It was almost 3 and we returned flying back home!

Why India lacks innovation

Corruptions news are hot cakes for news channels to keep them running and these stories are been watched nothing different from the 24 hr Ramanyan display anymore. But behind this all corruption and money, a huge social pull-back is also there which brings a question. What is happening, why we don't have innovation except in the field of corruption. After globalization, enormous amount of money has flooded in India; a lot people touched it and lot rest atleast smelled it. This smellers lot is the middle class of India, which is ready to be rich at any cost. In any nation this is the class which drives the wheel of innovation, by daring to look the world in a different perspective. A sense of nothing to loose and to gain the real vigor of life brings the thrust in it. But this is not working in India as it should be. Lot of easy money has come and along with the shine of money, which has spread a puesdo supply-demand equations. Surprised to see a country where only few decades back majority of people were living all life to improve the afterlife are busy ironically turned otherway around. Kabir has summed it up all in two lines, ages ago.
Kanak kanak te sau guni, madhakta adhikay.
Ja khaye boraye nar ba paye boray.
(Gold/riches are a hundred times more addictive than drugs.
Drugs make us crazy only when ingested, but riches, merely by having them).

There is no India...

Even outside India very often i get the feeling why India not to be called as a country. People should be allowed to better put their state stamps on their passport to workout the sick mind. One year of my stay here I saw so many marathis, gujjus, u.p. waale bhaiya and all, and I'm surprised how they manage to retain their individuality so well after staying so far and long from their areas where the real poison exists! A chennai-anna last week in a gathering almost jumped looking at me, with excitement and asked "chennaiiya???" and as soon I said no! Banaras and he almost ran away, never asked me for anything else beyond that! But it was just one of the case. We are apprehensive to talk about it mostly but somehow it exists and keep looking for its opportunity to grow. I don't know how much national integrity matters for these people but surely, its something which i feel should wait for a crisis-time like war to prove ourselves as a country.

Krishna Himself

I have been listening lot of philosophies from Hindu Religion and about what Lord Krishna said, but it was first time when I was so much frustrated. Well before going itself to ISKCON here in Amsterdam , I had no high opinion except that for the food but it will be so ridiculing, i couldn't imagine. While entry there was a musical performance in don't know which language out of which I only grabbed Hare-Rama-Hare-Krishna-Krishna-Krishna-Hare Hare. But, whatever it was from full devotion and so was good to listen. After that Mr. GodMan came. I have no other words for him as he was as sure as Krishna himself were there in his words. So, Mr. GodMan started talking about Krishna putting himself as example bringing redlight district and pleasure of marijuana in context to explain his high thought. But the worst came when finally he tried to be Obama and told audience to ask questions and somebody asked him about form of GOD and the shapelessness or not? He turned on fire! saying people who believe that Deity can be an inobject are rascals! I was shocked..atleast a so called Swami shall refrain from such language. After that he spread somemore bullshit but I was immune by that time. We as a common man, who never preach on Dharma also are taught from the childhood about the Sakaar-Bramh and the Nirakaar-Bramh. We know it from heart that its the state of union-ness to the supreme not a antonym. It so obvious and simple Hindu phylosophy which anyone who claims himself to be Swami must be knowing and should have explained like that only, but it was not! I recalled a line from Bertrand Russell a british phylosopher after longtime between this all, "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubt"

One more Dham: Amster-dham

The journey which started from 81, harikeshpura has reached to a new city Amsterdam. I could have written this before but it was like a transit stay in the city before in a longer journey which started right from Delft to Mau. But between these days lot of people whom I said that I stay in Amsterdam, were amazed to listen. Nothing different, I also used to think the same, but now when I'm here its time to realize how much it was true. Atleast in the initial walk around the city I didn't see anything surprising. The perception so far is the city, which is same as any other Dutch city with a little more crowd being capital. But, as it is said there is much depth in the sea, and making a guess from the shore is waste, lets see how its goes before I move to my next Dham (abode). 

दिन ..महीने ..साल..

हिंदी-अंग्रेजी कैलेंडरों के झगड़े के बीच मम्मी के बिना एक साल पूरा होने का कार्यक्रम भी पूरा हो गया अग्रेजी कैलंडर से ३ दिन खिसक कर|खिसक कर ही सही, इसके सिरे से जुड़े हम सब घर में बहुत दिनों बाद इकठ्ठा हुए| चीजें काफी कुछ बदली भी थी और कहीं नहीं भी...घर के अंदर मम्मी के मोर्चे को बड़ी भाभी ने सम्भाल लिया था और उसी अंदाज में पहुचते ही गेहूं के ड्रमों में चल रही घुनो की पार्टी में रुकावट पैदा करना शुरू कर दिया| घर के बाहर, शहर में बदलाव के नाम पर मोबाइल क्रांति ऐसे आ गयी थी जैसे धीरू भाई का सपना पूरा करने का ठेका मऊ शहर ने ही ले रक्खा हो| और बाकी सिस्टम का क्या पूछना, बैंक और एटीएम् ऐसे थे जैसे वहाँ सब गरीबी रेखा का राशन कार्ड लिए खड़े हो, और गाँधी जी की शक्ल वाले कागज फ्री में मिलने वाले हों..लगे रहो लाइन में! (कागज ही उचित शब्द है क्यूँ की निकलने के बाद तो वो ऐसे तोड़े-मरोड़े जाने वाला है की वो अपने करेंसी बिल होने की फीलिंग बनिए की दुकान पर ही कर पायेगा)| और जो बात नहीं बदली थी उनमे से एक है हम लोगों का खेत और उसकी निगरानी पद्धति...हमारे छुटपन से लेकर इस बार तक, हर मुलाकात में अपने जल्दी ही मरने का दावा करती हम लोगों का खेत देखने वाली, अभी भी उसी लगन से अपने से अगर कुछ बचा तो बतौर एहसान घर पंहुचा रही है| इन सब के बीच हम लोग भी अपनी पहचान से जुड़े उस घर में बदलाव का हिस्सा ही थे, जो वैसे तो सन्नाटे से भरा रहता है, उन दिनों आबाद था|

Dreams & The Dustbin!

In India, street rag pickers are common phenomenon, and their survival need level matches with the cost of waste, which let them feel that their basic needs are fulfilled. But, there is also a big class with a slightly different next level of need. The class with wish for... a fridge which is more than big enough, a washing machine with latest technology (although available supporting infrastructure are ignored in that dream) and a big screen TV which would have best if it were LCD, and so on...  This thought came in my mind after seeing one such big size LCD tv and washing machine near a bin this morning. It was nothing new observation for me in last one year, but a thought also floats in mind! how much a waste to one matches with the need of next. Only that, sometime they are geographically together, sometime they're apart...

Why not we..

After two WW-II movies today and between daily news of life and death game in naxalite areas in India, the question of value of life and its purpose, pokes me. Why people in countries like us don't dare to stand and speak the truth, live-and-die for it. The world war destroyed major Europe and deleted two cities of Japan but they all emerged out of it, to be even more lustrous than before, but then why we didn't even though we were not so bad. And the mind puts several assumptions, probably we never saw the real pain as a nation to build as a nation; we never realised the glory of victory in last 2000 years of recorded history to cherish and sustain it; we chose wrong hero and ideal in history, which never let us be aggressive to live our dream (atleast I hope nobody dreams of living in the sick system even if he/she is sick to react against it). The big elephant is sleeping...needs to wake up before its too late.

In Dutch way...

We have common punchline in India, "Hum Kamate Kyun Hain, Khane ke Liye!", but looking into the dutch way of living and especially food system, its doesn't seems so obvious. Noticing this for last couple of months, locals with a poly-bag containing a banana, a apple. 3-4 pcs of bread with some cheese or hem. in their hand riding to the workplace. I looks amazing to even to a person like me who is not so tongue twister in Indian context that how you can live with so dry looking meal and thats too everyday with very limited variation.!! Whatever, its also gives their indication of work-centered lifestyle not the food centered. Having a limited vision of these individual lives I can't give the wholistic view of a dutch living but I know that, when its time to rest they also enjoy the moment to the best...managing their life to the most. Thats just life, we say here, "dutch people rule nature".

Medal of Poverty

Was watching a TV report on a news channel, how people are trying to hide their assets which are being accounted in the current census. There is amazing psychology working behind the whole action. Already the benefits provided by the government to the poor have less effectively reached to the ground, those who have been getting it want to keep getting it life long as if they deserve nothing better than that! The disclosure of their assets which has improved may cease their eligibility to get benefits given by government. In such circumstances how they can let it happen...they are trying their best to save their medal...

A Different Eye

Posted a small video from movie Swadesh last night on facebook where a  child is selling water; with a thought that our governments assume to achieve developed country status by 2020 even though this lies in reality. In response I got a mail from my friend this morning equally worried saying, 'yes, don't know how much water will be there by 2020!'. It left me surprised and annoyed, his in-sensitiveness. Any stupid technology can solve the whole water problem all of sudden someday, but what about life! lives of hundred and thousands of children who don't get a chance to shine when it was the their time. And no technology, any-day any-how can bring that time back

Biking to the Sunset

How crazy it would be if you say, its nice weather lets go to the beach in city next by bicycle! At least, in India I can't imagine, but that what I did today here in Netherlands.  Sitting in the office in a nice sunny weekend was boring and in a moment me and my flatmate decided to bunk the office to go to Scheveningen beach in Den-Haag, the city next to Delft. We biked all across city getting lost and finding path to the place. It was a beautiful experience in my words because we were lost several time. The real fun lies always in exploring...walking on known path has no fun. Anyway we reached somehow to Kijkduin beach (changed our mind on the way) seeing all the beauties on the way and now thoughtlessly lying on the beach watching sun going down in the sea slowly, ships going one by one far away! few hours of carelessness ended with ended with the thought that we have to go since we don't have lights in our bikes...one thing without which you are not allowed to ride bicycles here :)

Coconut Loyalty

My flat-mate's parents were here last week, so was a bigger India in our house. Got some Indian flavour after long time which they brought with them and also the fragrance of the culture. I was forgetting the experience with my South Indian room-mates in Hyderabad, how they used you live in a high pitch world of communication; got refreshed. Struggled to sleep everyday in their presence...but it was just one challenge. Anyway, I was there for one of their sight-seeing with them and went to the Tulip gardens. We went inside, roam around and then we were on a shop were they wanted to buy something to eat...they asked for icecream and there came the loyalty. They reject whole ice-cream expertise of the region with one simple demand, "do you have coconut flavour?...no! then we don't want it". I was enjoying the talk..typical Indian-ness!!!

Statistically loved

Just from a random thought from Google’s idea of collecting most popular key words found that number of hits for Love as a keyword gets about 1,340,000,000 results while for Hatred is only about 15,100,000 results. So, statistically almost 89 times more demanding than hate. There's a big market sitting over it!!!

What it mean to be...

Life is a examination...everyone says and don't know how correct it is to say as we are surely surrounded by a lot of questions, but few of them find their answer and most never ever. I think you are never a successful living being just because you solved lot many questions out of them but, it remains with how happy you are with minimum number of answers you have. Knowledge space has no boundaries and ambitions have no heights to achieve what it remains is where you are going say, I am done! its not so simple either as little less is a cowards life and little more is a cowboy's. Venturing life to achieve its best is also an art, undefinable!

Beyond names

Last weekend went partying, with a good night in The Hague and a bad day in Amsterdam. But in between I just wanted to share the lessons I got before and between these days, which reflect the partying culture here. I don't know learn't is right word or not since I didn't adopt most of them but this happens to others lessons of life too, only few qualify to get adopted. Anyway so few of them were like...bathing in morning is a Superstition we carry since birth in India...even though you have not bath..you are fresh, its all about how you feel yourself...otherwise you will be bathing whole day. Next one is, even though you are boosed you are not drunk....so carryon...but next day if you have hangover don't panic, take it easy have one more beer you will be OK!!!!! and during parties a common sentence between smokers...lets do something useful, lets make a joint (its a kindof handmade cigarette with weeds)....lol what a usefulness in life!!!!
And finally to leave these lessons unquestionable the last lesson, life is beautiful...beauty lies in the eyes of beholder...so your eyes are you own and keep it with you.

Solving Ego

Working on different projects in my program now a day..trying to define scope and deliver the solutions for every, but the problem state is mostly more of individual than by the system itself. Perception of problem and application of his/her knowledge somehow to show the participation in the whole process shows how human factor controls the problem statement. And through this finally, even the solution being delivered is guided...so the whole solution process remains nothing more that ego solving efforts by different people in the process and solution become object oriented than the process oriented...delivering compromise reports!

Endless Truth

Completed 6 months also after mummy, roaming around to find my goal and live her values. Bhagwad Gita still guiding as usual as before, not letting me down. Saying stay focus on your purpose, don't worry about success and failure, keep going...there is no happiness or grief, no profit or loss. Perform because its nature of human, not because what will be result of work, rather I or anyone in this world has no choice to stop from deed, only what I can do is, to make a choice of one. If the deed is beyond the dire of failure and happiness of success you can give your best to it. My mother kept teaching us whole life without reference...hope I understand it now to follow it ahead.

Living in Lilliput

Facing too many problem now a day because of communications and speech now a day. Some say, I speak too fast for them to understand, some don't even try to understand and reject the argument even before I finish. In such a situation I keep scratching my head that its a problem of aptitude or attitude. The more I try to be like them the more I get a feeling of being pushed out of ring. Things I hate most, appearing in worst form and all I get is the space to smile and walk-out or hate them. I adopt the first way but lets see how long it can be worked out like this. I can't cut my legs to be shorter like them and can't make them taller either! hope to get a compromise between all....

Organised Chaos

My idea of creativity lies in the chaos of everyday but really feel jealous when I see people who can organise their creativity to come out with an innovation. I never understood how they do it, how someone can plan a natural flow...something like water, something like love, something like art- a poem...every bit looks so hard to me when I try to fix my self in such pictures. And finally feel I am better a engineer, 'm not blessed enough, can never organise my chaos...can never be an innovator...

No where in Silicon Valley

Its 201st blog entry on my blog and if this morning I had left for Silicon Valley, this might had comeout with some other thoughts when I had been there. Anyway, the whole incidence or the accident gave some lessons for the life which can be shared. The whole process and events to get to silicon valley was although a very nice experience with course classes with really enthusiastic and intelligent people but the process of going to silicon valley needed VISA to US which was the most pathetic part of it. We all see the US system of deceitful response to terrorism, identifying it not by what has been done, but who has done; saving David Hadely in their own country and destroyed whole Iraq for getting one person. Truth be told, lessons be learnt, before the day when I will be there to make my mark... 

The Confidentiality Bug

The innovation bug is most often seen in society where people try to look different try something innovative, something different but I came across a new bug here, the Confidentiality Bug...People want to keep every shit of information as confidential, with belief who knows someday will become important. Living and working in open environment of India where all sort of knowledge was Open Source, I never realised that we need to start a campaign for getting things in public domain. Working in a socialist country here in Holland I presumed that this openness will be even more as it reflects in societal get-up and culture but its completely other way round atleast in science and technology domain. My perception towards science is that its a united effort of mankind to unlock the codes of nature to help the mankind...then what is the meaning of second confidential clause...are we just trying to change the owner of lock!!!

अभी कल ही तो था...

पीछे घूम कर कभी सोचता हूँ तो अजीब सा एहसास होता है..सब कुछ अभी कल ही तो था, कल ही तो हम सब भूसे वाली कोठारी में पकते आमों पर नजरें जमाये बैठे थे, कल ही तो हमारे घर फ्रीज आई थी और ख़ुशी के मारे हम सब सर्दी में भी बरफ खा रहे थे, कल ही तो घर की आलमारी में लाइब्रेरी बना रहे थे जिनमें ज्यादा तर किताबें हम सब के हाथों की सफाई से हासिल थीं, बगल के कमरे की एक आलमारी जिसमे हमसब अपनी-अपनी इंजीनियरिंग स्किल के प्रदर्शन करते हुए की तोड़फोड़ का सामान संग्रह कर रही थे,  घर में कंप्यूटर खरीदने के लिए झिकझिक कर रहे थे, घर में इनवर्टर लगा और उस अंधकार युग का अंत हुआ जिसमे हम लैम्प में पढाई कम और फतिंगे ज्यादा जलाते थे...और जाने कितनी ही बातें जो हम सब से जुड़ी हैं ...सब कुछ इतनी तेजी से बदला सा लगता है जैसे कल ही था...

Stop and Think

Working with strange people here. Some have voices some have action and all towards you deserve to have non. Working for my previous job it was like I had a great team dynamics, but here I feel so much isolated and cornered sometime that become reluctant to make opinion even. Competitiveness looks so ugly here that running to achieve some stupid target by all in a very serious moods irritates and frustrates me. We had a project management training some time back where we were told how be not too much goal oriented and stop and think before start working on some assignment, but all perished. It will be great adventure to see what happens in new group projects.

Justice for whom

Equality for everyone is always the mission statement for all the world philanthropist organisation, but now a day reading about silicon valley, find that the big rift in society has not of sudden evolved. The system of equation of dominance can be understood well by the silicon valley story. This is the story of a thick line of present between the visionary and the followers. The difference of reality between the across of the road worlds in silicon valley. One which contains people who were there to follow their heart and committed to loose themselves for their dream and one on the other side who were their to live their present. The old order of Indian society would have surely evolved in the same fashion which slowly lost its capacity of natural selection and went into inheritance. If we can contain that social equation surely the natural justice is the best justice to bring the equality...and respect to the visionaries.

Warmth

Cross-posting from my Family Blog:
If I look back, so far it was probably the most exciting day of my life this day in year 2000! Being youngest amongst all I had never holded a new born baby and it was first time for me. First time, that too of my sister. It was night 9'O clock like something and winter-full-fog was so dense that I can't see my own bicycle front tyre (looks like exaggeration, but it was really like that) when I was going to Fatima hospital. But finally it was such a great feeling to see the baby in a red and yellow sweater coming out of delivery room and grab him for the first time that I forgot everything for a while! found myself busy talking to the new-man between us, till mummy said its already too late...it's going to be like 1'O clock, go back home and relax to return. And I carried that warmth all way back home, which was enough to force-out all fog and cold of that night.

Welcome for Silicon Valley

The entrepreneurial dreams of mine found some more feather today when i started with a new course on learning's from silicon valley, a course to discuss the importance and feasibility of knowledge based culturing. Truth be told, I had no idea how this course was going to help me achieve my dream except that I am going to see the mecca of Entrepreneurs towards the end of the course and that is sufficient to give me energy to drive me enough to the course. The introduction session today has even more fuelled my excitement get into the course. In a fist tight schedule semester, this course is like having a lavish life style in eyes of my some colleagues and superiors but I know they can't live my dreams...they are all mine.

Redefining Ideas

Finshed up with my final written exam in semester and ended up in 't Kelderke of the department with couples of drinks and talk. Talk about all nonsense and some stupid world sociology and politics. And there was the discussion or the real pomising idea hunt between all. It was an idea by a girl who in fun mood or seriously i don't know was on what makes love...passion, commitment and friendship and was of view that polyandry is a google idea since no man can give all the three on same time and life goes waste searching for a compromise in the same, if you are really desprate to find the equinoctial point you give up before you end up. It doesn't looks a realistic human idea especiallly in Indian senerio but it surely gives a light on more freedom to the class which is underneath since long time. The idea of romantic love found a new defination in new geography.

एक और रात, एक और दिन!

देखते देखते एक और साल चला गया, कुछ खुशियाँ और कहीं बड़ा गम देकर. मम्मी के बिना आज एक quarter भी पूरा हो गया और नए साल में एंट्री धमाकेदार तरीके से भी हो गयी पर ना लक्ष्य बदले हैं, ना प्राथमिकताएं और ना ही चुनौतियाँ. नए साल में उन सब के साथ वैसे ही दो-दो हाथ होने हैं. बस नया साल ये जरूर याद दिला रहा है की समय का पहिया बहुत तेज चल रहा है, इससे पहले की एक और दिन जुड़े औए एक और रात जाए, कुछ करना है उन सब सपनों के लिए जिनके लिए हम जीना चाहते हैं, जिनके साथ हम होना चाहते हैं. पता है की ये सब तब तक ही रहना है जब ये ना दिन होगा ना रात गिनने के लिए...