Civil vs Evil

India or atleast Delhi is shaken and thus awake for last two weeks in view of brutal rape case. No rape is less brutal anyway but this was somehow made people think that, this is not good! No, socially and morally straight person will say so either. But, the million dollar question in my mind these days is that are we really serious about it, or does it really reflects our personal enlightenment or is it just a wisdom of crowd. I might be sounding very pessimistic but let me tell that I am very happy that people have come out of their houses to protest I still don't believe it. People are angry that our police stations are not working, our courts a slow and our laws are loose for rapists, but I have question from the society that, are we the people are serious about it. Rapists don't come from other planet neither they run away to other planet after committing the crime. They live between you and me and between the people protesting all across the India before and after the crime and everyone knows them, accept them socially as brother, son, husband, friend and business partners and go to worse to reward them. Is it cure all about police station, court and laws? Humans are social animal; a complete social boycott would have been worse than castration of such devils and would have solved the problem internally, but it never happens. We certainly  need better laws and its enforcement, but I believe as long as it doesn't happens law alone can't stop such evil.

India inside india outside

It was a lot time due and thoughts were boiling for quite sometime inside me. It was pushed with several recent event/incidences. Just two to quote, 1st one regarding meeting a guy who returned from india and 2nd regarding an event by india platform here in gent. The guy who returned after india trip said on Indian road the mightier the better just like jungle (I thought u don't know, it's just not on road but all walks of life in india). In india platform meeting it was been told by two indian presenters that India is booming! Now connect both these remark and try to find out which one is correct state of India.

Who We Are and What We Want

Ran out of my internet connection limit today and it was a crisis which gave me an opportunity to look a different side. Silently sitting in a more alien world for me here in Ghent, I see myself with three kind of worlds in which I am living: the two real worlds: one around me, other inner of mine, and the other is the virtual world; the world of internet which has penetrated on both side, making its own biases and inferences on global thought. I don’t want to mean that people without internet don’t have outsourced biases and inferences. But certainly they have more opportunities to correct themselves by looking into the real world which surrounds and within them and engage their own perspective. Internet certainly enlightened our lives much more than anything else, destroyed the barriers of distances and censorships not to be allowed in civilized society. But, there was an essential benefit caused by these barriers and censorship in lesser developed state society, and it was spread of epidemic of evil thought. Now when we are freer and open, the responsibly lies on our ownself to identify the good, bad and the ugly and protect ourself and actively respond against it. And the only way to do so is to look within, “who we are and what we want”.

PS: I will post this from my office only once I am there tomorrow :-)

The Google of God

There is an essence of Hinduism which tells, God is not outside, and God is inside within all of us. It just not only gives a perspective that God is not a mere spectator or a referee around you in this great fight of being in this world, but actively involved and informed of you. All, your actions, best and the worst one are also involving him. And, once you are indulged in thought, ask yourself, is that what you want your God to act, if answer is yes “go ahead”. In my school days, NCERT books used to have a page with “Gandhiji’s Talisman” with a wonderful thought of thinking the poorest of the poor before any act and find how it benefits him for suitability. But, many times in life of a commoner like me I find it very hard to bring a perspective to my life challenges with “Gandhiji’s Talisman”. Then, the simple way is, what if my God acts like this, will I like it? This will save your God if you think you deserve to be part of the God.

Another year

Good or bad, every event of life has an anniversary and everytime we think of it, we think of lesson learnt and commitment made to ourself out of it. Today the same day is back for me, now the 3rd year without my mother. Realities of life have masked much more than life earlier for me and lesson learnt and commitment made are becoming harder to follow by growing years. Sometime I think why? Change in environment changes the ultimate lessons and commitment or its the time which redefines its version or just because they were my lessons and commitments, not others! Anyway, years are passing but some how the unsaid lesson I got from my mother that, what I want is more important than what I know, is still unattenuated.

PS: Its 7th year complete for my blog

Nationalism from outside India Route

I often think that why so many people living outside India are very critical and passionate to see India a better place even though there life situation will never let them go back. The reason may be, because we have not yet given-up like most of the Indians I know, even though they are there. May be because they are beaten, everyday by the system, and may be it has all become obvious for them. But, what about us who are living a un-flared life outside India and don't get affected by whatever shit happens overthere. But no! we do care and what to make it better, not to live it, not to cherish it , but to feel it. Fell that we are part of the same country which is great from past to present! And, what motivates us for that dream is not just inherent but environmental. We see how the little developed information and resources are conserved here in resource and people live its glory and then question comes in mind, why not we? We are from a land of great civilisation and knowledge, why can't we do the same? why we Indian are so much living in inferiority. We have so much push out ourselves that we don't feel it odd, when we are called Third world and pushed along with Africa, in the state of development, why? These all questions, make is more nationalistic than, we were when we were inside India. By visible examples we can see now that, the life of pride and glory is possible for every citizen of India if attempted properly. 

Touristic month for change

Its going to be 3 complete years for me to be here in europe. Lived in Delft, Amsterdam, Leiden and now in Gent. Although, all touristic places, I was never a tourist. Never saw another place, how so ever it was from mine and nobody to blame or regret as I don't like to travel. But, last two months have been exceptional. I have seen 3 cities, Berlin, Potsdam and Copenhagen in two countries of Europe , not just to see my wife but also travelled like tourist with her; seen the places, gardens and structures with little more curiosity. For a follower of google for all, it was something new for me. :-)

Need of another epic

As a citizen of a country with ancient civilisation we live a life full of examples from mythologies and epics; all saying that all virtue is goodness and the good wins always. But, with the current status of society we see the ignorance to these sayings, if not all it is most. But why this happened? Why the society preaching and learning goodness turned devilish?
I think, for a long time, even before independence we started realising bad is always safe and awarded. Pre-independence at least we had Britons to blame but post-independence we got nobody to rebuke, and forget the victory of good, bad people cherished all successes and pleasures without little penalty. This all has become a new epic to the new society; unsaid untaught. And so as all their new heroes from Kalmadi to Raza thus getting the heroic welcome.
Now, with all this if we really want to see some change, we can live with old mythologies and epic. But we seriously need a fresh breeze to make people believe that goodness is still a virtue and moreover evils are punished in real life not just in mythologies. We need a new epic of our time desperately.

Villain-less Life

We all hunt for a beautiful life, something which is worth and worry-less, i.e. without an obstacle or villain. Other-side in story-books and celluloid, we always have stories with a challenge and a challenging villain, without which it is boring. It looks quite the opposite side of our character, but it somehow connects to our sub-conscious behavior in life. How sweet spoken or jolly person I have met, I have never seen a person who has allergy for somebody. And worse is that when somehow if that villain of their life is gone, they make a new one from a new space. So, I feel that we like it or not, none of us can live without a villain. May be to keep the journey in pursuit of happiness going as there is no fun in a Villain-less life.

Trip to India

Arrived India last night after a long visa and residence permit fight. It was a nice on time journey of 8 h and as usual full of fellow Indian with discrete mentality of pride...may be I may looking the same to them as well. And what happens when two Indian sit to waste time in journey...they talk about Indian politics...n so what started with me as well. Luckily or unluckily the guy beside me coming from Denmark turned out to be extreme pro-congressi. He was appreciating all of the utter useless fellows from PM to Sibal as people of great integrity. I was so annoyed listening his bull-shits that at one point I literally told him that you are completely brained washed. Anyway journey completed and I got rid of him, again me be he was feeling the same hehehe.

Generation of 140 characters

Discovery of twitter and facebook have been revolutionary. It gave world a new way of sharing where governments across the world couldn't censor the information to save there own asses. But the witch hunt has already started as well; attempts to block them. Anyway, beyond that I see another trend is new society after evolution of this social media. This society has short-term memory; how so much important an issue is as soon they are out of "trending", nobody gives a damn shit as new topic is already there. The other problem is the over-dependence on these sources. If a big crowed has started saying something, just reading those 140 character tweet people enrich their knowledge. May be its more tasty and easy way to handle the information, but there is always whole lot of background needs to learnt, only headlines are not everything. And this I think is very big problem. This is going to slowly kill the practice of researching the matter as most of us are learning to believe what is said is true and enough within its 140 characters itself.

Ageing cord

In India it a common saying for people, A rope cannot loose its twists, even if it is burnt. Sitting as a distant observer of relationships dynamics in surrounding past, and placing this lines, I spontaneously add...but it ages and thats even worse than burning. But than the question comes, can something prevent this ageing or this again an ultimate truth like one said in Bhagwad Gita. Change always raise a question in my mind initially, but I don't know something I don't find things pleasant and can't stop them either. I feel the reducing intensity, twists are loosening, it ageing!

Life in safari

I was just thinking about my unstable establishment since I left my home at Mau in year 2000. It's the 12th year now and the 9th city of the world and more than twice of that is the flat where I have lived. 3 places in Varanasi, 6 places in Allahabad during 5 years, 2 places in Kanpur and 3 in Hyderabad before leaving India. After that in next destination Delft 2 places, 3 in Amsterdam, and last one in Leiden before leaving Netherlands. Now I am in Ghent, Belgium living in temporary accommodation so the next place will add in the coming months to this town as well. It's certainly not an achievement, but an adventure with lot of troubles as well.

Holi Memories

Its Holi today in India but just another day for me here in Ghent. Day started with listening on TV that Holi is nomore as glorious as before. I don't know how much true it is certainly reminded me of memories of Holi. We were not a extreme Holi fans ever which sells most in eastern UP in form of vulgar bhajpuri songs and coloring people people with worst-possible colour, but we had its own form at home. We used to prepare colors at home, and after colouring eachother we start throwing it on the street people. But the after Holi chaos of the morning changes into the symmetry of the evening. The families from the area dressed with clotes made of same fabric print come out of there house to see eachother as if teams are walking around. I don't remember we also were part of such system ever but it was really funny. Whatever, we with a packet of Gulal used to walk to Shiva temple in nearby Sharasvati Sishu Mandir campus and then to our Gurubaba. Same route every year, same people every year; nothing used to change except we growing up to leave the place one after one. With lots of torturous years between, now its the same day today and nobody except my father is there to walk on those paths without us accompanying him.

The missed call

Somehow I believe that, freedom of India was nothing more a transfer of power and nothing as such Independence was achieved that day. My belief lies on those many unaddressed calls which should have been taken by ours so called government in least few years of declared independence. One such call was empowering our native languages. Living abroad for few years and meeting people of different nationalities, I found how competent the people with there learning in native languages are, in terms of there fundamentals and scientific skill. They are the people who have ruled the world of science and technology without reading american books but there own native language book. From Germany, Russia to the civil war countries from form Yugoslavia and now conspicuous China, story is the same. We as a country of multi-lingual but highly knowledge honouring society at that time have completely not just ignored this point but push the imperial thought which should have left the country along with last ship of Britishers. And the most of all which suffered in this was our development as a knowledge based society. The confidence lacking basic learning in scientific subjects for generations thereafter is limited to the content rather than essence. Thats how the new generation prefers to work for American software companies and BPO but fails to carry the confidence to create the same degree of challenging technologies which it should have, being part of the bigger supporting crowd. To divert the focus from this need, the debate was created on the name on hindi or non-hindi which shows the swallow thought of our policy-makers. The divided country never learnt to learn everything in there own mother tongue to benefit the society, let it be in hindi, tamil, telgu or anything and generation by generation loosing its identity of torch-bearer of global-knowledge.

So, it is just one of the missed calls which Governments in India should have taken, but they are busy importing shops of American universities in India which can create some more manpower for the rest of the world machinery to run doesn't matter own machinery fails.

PS: I am not Anti-American, but a believer that we in India need to achieve a greater sense of self-reliance for the so called "Independence" which is celebrated every year on 15th August. 

Ringed

Rings were never a common thing for my finger unlike for majority of Indians for superstitious reason. This doesn't mean that I have never been superstitious but somehow I never found it comfortable. Now, when I am married, it's part of identity and people often see it to find that I'm married. But, whatever was there, nothing has changed in me from that aspect; it used to bite me earlier and it bites me even now. And, thats how I often decide I am not going to put it anymore, and keep it aside. But then in hours later I realise its back in my finger and I cannot recall what moment I put it back. I feel surpised, and think why didn't it bited me this hour. I smile  on myself, feel myself "ringed"  and try to forget, before it starts itching again.

Escape route of brain

Very often we come across situation when we know the thing is not right and we should do it right. Then with one or other reason we commit it knowing that it's not good. But, does this feeling continues? I don't think so! Most of us in a sooner time find a excuse and in a little later even start believing in it. It's interesting to see why and how this happens? Ever since such thing happens in our life the brain which is mostly righteous starts trying to fill the damage made on self-image. And in this exercise it tries to fit a reason for the action and also make us live that new belief. And that's how life finds it escape route and that we sarcastically call life how it is.

Something for today..rest of tomorrow

Chasing the infinite has always been a biggest chase among mathematicians. But, we as a commoner's life, have simple solution to all what we have for-say infinite; from problems to fun, from challanges to solutions everywhere. And that simple solution is lets take some for today and rest will be for tomorrow! By practice, this tomorrow is infinite in all of ours life and this today is simple discretisation of that infinite "thing". Isn't it so simple! Well I feel this same simplicity has benefited the world most in all walks of life and it will be, only that we should be able to realise this discretion. I mean, how small is too small and how big is too big! when we know the balance every infinity is as simple: something for today..rest of tomorrow.

Between the big sea

Started my PhD today at UGent. It was not an easy decision for me where I had to choose between a professional and an academic carrier along with personal life. But finally with all set of analysis I decided to go for academics. All set go I started today and day gave me a feeling like I have been in the middle of the sea with nothing and I neither know the swimming nor the direction. Let's hope will also see the coast someday :).

Across the border

Born as a Indian from whichever part, you always know what a country border means having Pakistan as the neighbour. But this was not the same! I moved with all my household from Netherlands to Belgium yesterday; no border checks no immigration hassles nobody with guns and lethal weapons nothing. Before I left, my friends and colleagues from place of work arranged a goodbye party, gifted a travel guide for Belgium and a very beautiful card (will post when I get access to scanner). At was a good feeling and I was happy; not because I was leaving but as I was going for a new challenge. Anyway life started here with a night in clubs with the friends who accompanied me. I was completely tired and had got less sleep for last few nights so left back. May be I am writing too much details but just to finish mu next morning thereafter was a morning in Ghent, Belgium and will be same for next couple of years.

Matrix of love n no love

There may be billions of people but we all in a microscopic-view live in clusters with unions and intersections. And of these people some we love and some we don't. It sounds very simple but it is not. People you love not always love or loved by the same people as well and worst happen when it is not just indifference to that people. Being a social animal this flow of two different energy makes the lives skewed; finding balance between two sides of the triangle. But that makes world a interesting place. You cannot change it so just celebrate your existence in that matrix n do the best.

Reservation for what?

Divide n rule is said to be one of the collusive policies by Britishers in India before independence but it's hard to find that it changed for the government there. Congress party which claims to have its root in the fight for freedom seems to learn it as the only lesson from imperialising power. Recent attempts to implement reservations for the Muslims is one in the same direction. I can understand the logic for SCs and ST for a while saying that they were harnessed for generations by the same people who will now feel less privileged by new situation. But how about Muslims! They ruled India for more than 800 years; made countrymen all suffer and become backward from rest of the world by banning creative and positive thinking. And now they should be given reservation!!!! On cost of whom? People whom they made suffer at their time because they were not Muslims! Certainly they need to be brought up in society for contribution of all sections of society but not by giving unfair advantage. They need to be integrated not differentiated by another means. Well, to reserve their positions in power our political forces can give reservation to anyone.

Coexistance n relationships

I have always thought about myself and others as individual about what is purpose of life, but a thought came of co-existance. Why for some relations despite of same roots don't share the closeness in long run, while the other despite of great divergence converge to be one happily. In public life its the relatively simple to be purely selfish and profitable relationship which always works till both are enough befitting if not equal. Some of them break this rule and move to a next level of closer relationship- the convergence. But what about those which emerged together, shared the warmth but got separated with time. I think somewhere it happens due to lack of vision. Vision which stops us to see the other person as another individual with his/her own quality, choices and priorities. When people forget that the other person is not me, all these look like conflict and every single action is unforgivable assault. No choice left accept divergence. But do not forget..Forgiving doesn't make the person who hurt you feel better, it would have and will make YOU feel better!